What did I just do?
by aradilux
Summary: Logan is head over heels for Kendall. But, sadly, he's dating Carlos. He wants to confess his love for Kendall, but a certain mishap will change their lives for quite a while. (Kogan, Cargan)


There he was. Standing so handsome. He looks like an angel. I just wanna go over there and kiss him. But, that would be braking the friend-code. I think? Well then, I guess I would have already broke it because I'm currently in a some-what good relationship with Carlos. I don't know how to describe it, but I do sorta love Carlos, but it was always Kendall that made my stomach twist with happiness. Carlos walked over to me and kissed me. Totally ruining the moment. "Hey, you caught me by surprise." I chuckled, nervously. "That's my specialty." He nuzzled his nose in my neck. I wanted to resist, but it did feel good. I guess I was just falling out of love with Carlos, but I don't want to hurt him. I love the guy! Well, at least as a friend?  
"You cheated!" Carlos yelled. "I did not! I'm just that damn good at video games!" I chuckled. He threw a pillow at my face, I fell on the couch. He tackled me, giving me little kisses as he tickled me. "Carlos, stop!" He just laughed. As much as it hurts me to want to break up with him, it just doesn't feel right. He kissed me roughly. I cupped his cheek, wanting to resist, but I just couldn't. He was a _good_ kisser.  
that night, me and Carlos were just chilling with Kendall. "You guys want some popcorn?" Kendall offered. "Sure. Butter!" Carlos jumped up with him. We were watching an old 80's movie. I wasn't even paying attention. This was one of my nights when I was really depressed. Well, when am I not? I just went into my bedroom and locked the door. I couldn't stand to be around anyone, even the two loves of my life.  
I heard a slight opening of my door. I jumped quickly and put my hoodie on. "Hey Logan? You okay? The movie's not over yet and we made popcorn!" I just sat on my bed. "I'm not feeling to good, I think I'll just call it a night." He sighed. "Well, okay then. Hope you feel better." I grinned at him. I shut off my light and layed down. Then, Carlos had to come in. "I heard you weren't feeling good, something wrong?" I shook my head no. He sat next to me. "What happen to your hand?" I hurried up and covered it. "Probably just cut it on something" He must've noticed the blood running down my arm. "Logan, let me see. I can make it better." I tried to resist, but he grabbed my arm and pulled the sleeve up. "Logan... w-whats this?" Well, I guess my secret was out. I saw tears forming in his eyes. I hated to see him cry. "Carlos, don't start, please." "Oh okay, it's all good when I find out that my boyfriend fucking self harms himself! Nothing to worry about, no!" I was getting frustrated. "Logan, you should know that you're an extraordinary person. I love you!" It hurt my ears to hear him say that. "Don't give me that bullshit. It's not even because of insecurity." He didn't say anything. "I need to go outside for a minute." I stormed out of my room. "I didn't want to be around anyone.  
"Logan, you shouldn't have yelled at him." Of course, he had to come out too. "What do you want Kendall?" I turned around. "Carlos told me. Why do you do this? You really are an amazing person." I slightly smiled at his kind words. The reason was so stupid. He was gonna hate me for this. "I.. I just.. don't think me and Carlos are working out..." He looked shocked. "What? But you and Carlos are really good with each other! You always have." I shrugged. "I get that all the time. But, I just don't feel right with him. Honestly, there's someone else..." He looked at me, confusingly. "Who? You can tell me and I won't tell anyone! Trust me." He put his hand on my shoulder. "See, that's the thing I can't do! You're the single person I definitely can not tell!" He laughed. "Why not? That seems a little silly." I almost was about to cry. "You. I.. like.. well, you!" His face lit up. "Well, more like love.." I whispered. "You LOVE me?" He must have heard me! "Oh shit! Oh, god, I'm sorry, I just, god damn it!" I punched the tree. I sat down and hid my face in my lap. "Logan... you shouldn't be sorry." He sat down next to me. "Why?" He cupped my cheek... and kissed me! I should have pulled away, but he was _way_ better than Carlos. I hugged him close. His lips were so soft and warm. It was almost like a dream! He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. "Kendall, oh my god." He chuckled. "Logan I'm sorry I did that. Especially when you're already seeing someone." I looked up at him. "Kendall, can we just keep this as our little secret? If Carlos finds out, he'll be devastated." He nodded.

Two months passed. I still remember that beautiful kiss. Our friendship has gone down hill from then. We hardly talk. Just because of our dirty little secret. I was still dating Carlos. I fucking hated it. He never knew about our kiss. I felt so guilty everyday. Every time I kissed him, I 'd imagine it was Kendall. But his kisses were nothing compared to Kendall. I just felt so bad. I also never stopped self harming. That kiss just gave myself a bigger reason to do it.  
Me and Carlos were having lunch together. Sadly, Carlos invited Kendall and James. James doesn't usually hang out with us as much, but he still hung around. Me and Kendall hardly spoke to each other. Hell, we didn't even look at each other! "So, Kendall, what's been up with you?" James asked. "Oh, nothing much. Still attempting to start up the band with Dustin again." "What about you Logan?" I looked up, swallowing my bite. "Just living with Carlos... and Kendall." Just saying his name was painful enough as it was. "Oh I heard you and Carlos are dating now?" I nodded. "Well, congrats on the relationship!" I smiled at him. "Thanks James!" Carlos said. That's one thing I liked about James. He always accepted people no matter what they were like! "Kendall? You hardly said a word since we've been here! You too Logan." Carlos said. Kendall stood up. "I'm gonna go get some fresh air." He walked out the door. "Hmm, wonder whats with him." I stood up, too. "I'll go see whats up." I left outside. I walk quietly towards him. "Logan I already know you're out here." I jumped at the sudden statement. "Logan, what happened?" I just sighed. "Kendall, please. I have to live with this secret! Carlos still doesn't know! You're the one that kissed me anyway!" He turned around. "Oh, so you're putting this on me? You could have pulled away! Not to mention, You're the one who said you loved me!" I scoffed. "What was I supposed to do? Just live with the fact that I love you and still do!?" He just stood there quiet. "You.. still love me?" A tear slithered down my cheek. "Yes, I do. You just ignored me to this day and I had to live with that. I hate putting up with this stupid carp just to cover up this stupid secret. It's killing me!" He hugged me. Carlos came out. "Whoa, what's going on?" I sighed. "Okay, Carlos, Me and Kendall have something to tell you." He looked concerned. I knew this was gonna hurt him. "Me and Kendall... sorta... kinda kissed before..." His eyes grew big. "What? I don't even know what to say!" "Okay listen, I have been in love with Kendall for quite sometime and I just needed to tell him, and he kissed me and I just got distracted and I didn't pull away and I'm so fucking sorry!" He sighed. "Logan, I love you. Kendall, you're my best friend. I can understand. If you want to, you can be with Kendall..." My eyes grew big. "Wait, you're not upset!?" He laughed. "Well, I am, but if you two are really in love, I wouldn't want to mess with it. I only want you to be happy." I smiled. He gently kissed my cheek. "I really don't know what to say. You're amazing!" "I know."  
Me and Kendall went home. Carlos and James stayed out. I couldn't be more happier to finally be with Kendall. We walked in the front door. "Okay, so wh-" I couldn't even finish my sentence before I was pushed up against the door by his lips. He ran his fingers up my shirt, giving me shivers as he ran them down my spine. He kissed me all over my face and down to my neck. He bit down hard enough to make me groan. "Kendall, take me upstairs." I wrapped my legs around his waist as he held me. We hardly made it into the room before we started undressing each other. He pushed me up against the wall again, kissed me without any warning. He unbuckled my belt. He slowly put his hands down my boxers. I ran my fingers down his arm. He started stroking slowly. I moaned into the kiss. He slid off my pants. He got on his knees, kissing every part of my body as he made his way down. I ran my fingers through his hair, griping tightly as he made his way down. "You ready?" I was almost about to burst at the long wait for this moment. "Yes, please, Kendall." He smirked at how needy I was. He slowly took off my boxers. "Logan..." I bit my lip at the sight of him drooling over me. He lick just the tip. I exhaled deeply. He kissed all around, top and bottom. "Kendall, oh god.." he licked at the based and back up. I let out a moan. I've never felt anything that would match up to this feeling. He sucked at the head. He finally took me whole. He swirled his tongue around, making me shiver. He bobbed his head up and down. The quicker he went, the closer I got. I was so fucking close, but he pulled away. "Kendall, no, please!" I cried out, breathlessly. "Patience, darling." He led me to the bed. He layed me down and crawled on top of me. "Kendall, please, I need you." I could tell he liked it when I begged for him. "You wouldn't happen to have any lube, would you?" Finally it would be useful. "First drawer." He quickly got it out. He slowly stroked my dick with lube. I sighed at the relief of tension that had built up at the wait. He positioned myself st his entrance. I was so nervous to do this, but I was desperate. He slowly slid down as I groan with ecstasy. "Oh my fucking god, Logan." He clenched a fist in the sheets. I gripped onto his hips. He leaned down to kiss me, roughly. I roamed my hands all over his toned body. He went faster, almost making me burst. He groan loudly into the kiss. I stroked him slowly. "Logan, oh fuck!" He grabbed tightly at my hair as we both came. He thrust his hips against mine in a sort of rhythm. We both rode out the wave, catching each others breath. He got off and dropped down beside me. I hardly had any breath left after that. He rolled onto his side and leaned down and kissed me. "Logan, you're fucking amazing." He held my hand as I brushed my thumb against his cheek. "I love you." I whispered. He kissed me, passionately. "I love you, too." He looked down at my wrists. "Now you have no reason to do this anymore."


End file.
